She came into my life like a whirlwind, in an atypical fashion in many respects. But I am atypical. I know it. I lke it that way. I don't like "systemic public generalities" although I can adapt to them and fit into them seamingly. So bucking the system, intentionally or unintentionally will always be something I relish.

I wasn't sure what to make of her. That's honest. Terribly honest. But she seemed to need me, although I wasn't sure how or why. The first few months of our association, I did my best to satisfy needs which were not always clear to me. But we got through it and she accepted my ignorance and errors. I struggled with my lack of knowledge. I didn't know myself well enough then to realize, I don't like to fail, and often, lack of knowledge leads to failing....miserably. But I was determined in this cause, I would learn...as I usually do....the hardest of ways.

She accepted me, my ineptness, my knaivete unconditionally. She had a choice. Even then, I believe people have a choice. And we persevered together. Nights were the hardest. She would not sleep. And that was mostly what I needed. But that was secondary. She wanted my comfort, my voice, my warmth....and we would rock....for hours.....and I would sing to her and she would then sleep. But I could not let go of her, for if I stopped the rocking, the singing, she would wake and look at me, with eyes a clear blue and in that look, and in those eyes, I would see her say, "You don't expect me to sleep here, without song, without knowing you are there." And I would rock and sing some more. And she would sleep.

Funny, the singing. We still sing, but she is far past where I ever hoped to be. I like to think sometimes that maybe all of that rocking and singing helped that little mind, helped it find some of her skills. I don't take credit, certainly. She sings as she does, because she wants to. No rocking needed. Her choice.

Right or wrong, she helped define who I was and where I was going, and she didn't even know it. Right or wrong, she is one of the persons in my life I couldn't imagine living without.
Right or wrong, she is one of my closest friends and I will always love her.

I remember one doctor coming into the hospital room, and as she left she said, "Babies having babies." I will never forget that comment. Nor will I ever forgive it.

I was a baby in many respects. I admit I didn't know what I was doing, but I learned. I'm a fast learner. And I gave what I had to give to this little person I was learning about and would continue to learn about until this day. This little person was a gift of unbelievable proprotions and benefits. I have learned more from her and her sister than from anything else in this life.

I only hope she has and will forgive me for the parts of me that make me human, namely my weaknesses. For undoubtedly they have touched her in ways I may not fully realize. But what I do know is this: she is an extraordinary human being. I have loved watching her grow and still love to watch her grow and always will.

I can't rock her now, or hold her now, but we will always sing and in that singing, I shall always find that perfect sound...the sound of Harmony.