Everyone is talking about the auditions coming up. Are you auditioning for this or for that show, and there are a few coming up that I would like to try for, but seriously, at this point, I am finding it difficult to put myself out there.

It is hard anyway to lay yourself out there, sing, dance, read, be humorous, home you don't have something on your face, or your make up isn't smudged while you try to convince them in 30 seconds that you mean whatever is coming out of your mouth, while your hands are shaking. And if you happen to be going through a bout of feeling a bit undervalued as a human being anyway, it just makes it 100 times as difficult. It's all about confidence and believing in yourself. And being human beings, sometimes we just don't believe in ourselves.

So I don't know. I have songs I would audition with, and I would like to do a show, right now, it's a hurdle for me to say, I'm going to try it and if I don't make it, oh, well, that's part of it, the rejection and all. But there are times you just don't have the oommph to take the rejection, you know? Maybe I am just getting too old, for it, too soft and too sensitive.

Plus, every show I do, sets back my work out regime, my marathon preparation, my schedule. And my work outs are a huge part of my self-preservation. Now, even more so since we lost our Thursday night karaoke nights. And I really have been talking about going back to school, and getting a side job for extra cash.

So I don't know. I guess in short I'm saying that right now, I'm feeling a bit cowardly, and I don't admit that very often, not unless there is a big dog around.

yeah, maybe that would be better just now, school and a job. A lot of schools are starting their semesters at the end of January. I will look into it tomorrow.