So, you know, all of us, once in awhile, have a little nightcap, loosen us up, help us relax, just to chill. But lately with me, have a little night cap, and apparently everything I'm pissed off about, and apparently there is a lot I am pissed off about, comes out in some form or another, usually in a form that has nothing to do with anything I might actually be mad about and usually not at the person I'm mad at. It's usually at some unsuspecting victim who's is caught off guard and usually the person is one whose emotionally closest to me. (If I had to self-psycho analyze, I'd have to say, it's because I know they care about me and are likely to forgive.) Still, no excuse.

Getting angry that way, hardly seems fair or productive, does it? I don't like getting angry in the first place. I mean, I realize it's a human emotion but it's not a nice one. And when I do get mad, I much prefer to let the emotion settle for a day, or so and then try to deal with it in a factual manner. Although, this method seems to be failing me somehow. Because I'm learning I certainly have a lot of pent up angst. I mean, I know I have some given some circumstances, but maybe I have more than I realized.

So I think i will put my occasional night caps to the side for awhile, for fear I push away anyone and everyone who is precious to me. So if I've offended or said something out of line, hopefully those folks I've offended have accepted my meager but sincere apologies at the time. But truly, the best repentence is simply not to do it again. I mean, I might get mad but not stupid.